I AM...

Lately I've forgotten this. I needed the reminder that I am wonderful. I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am secure in Him. I am loved.

Psalm 139: 5-6. 13-15

You hem me in behind and before,

and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

live a brave life.

Today I had almost 34 conferences with the parents of all our 3rd graders. It was awesome. It was so awesome because I got to see where my wonderful kids come from. I just love my kids. I love their hearts. They are so tender and rich. My babies come from all sorts of places: hard places, and good places. I pray for them a lot. Not only that they would know my Savior, but that they would have good friends, that they would remember what they studied, that they would be patient with others, and most of all that they would feel His love through me.

I really want to be brave every day. It is my goal to be so loving to them every day. I just wish I could hug their hearts. I wish I could talk to each of them for hours about things that they care about, besides warm-blooded and cold-blooded animals hehe. I've mentioned before about our Family Meetings on Fridays. This past Friday we did something different. I have been noticing my kids saying unkind things to each other so I decided to shake 'em up a little bit ;) I told them that we were EACH going to say something kind, encouraging and life-giving about each person in our class. They were like WHAT!?! Every person has to go!? Yes. Duh. You get 17 compliments, who wouldn't want that? I went first. Every student went around the circle and said something about me, my heart overflowed. They are such world changers. I know it!!!! One of them said, "I love you because you are the only teacher that has never yelled at me before." Then he teared up. Friends, I just about died right then and there. Cue heart melting into a puddle. They had so many kind things to say to their friends. I felt like Jesus was in the middle of our family circle playing with their hair or giving them high fives when they said encouraging things. MM MM GOOD.

Sometimes I don't feel brave. I feel beaten. Sometimes I feel like I've failed my kids, like I'm not patient or loving enough. Sometimes I just feel mean. Who knows -I am too hard on myself sometimes- Ben always reminds me. I am just now thinking this but I feel like Jesus told me that HE is the tender lover of our souls. He is the perfect teacher that I wish I could be. He is the one who never gets angry or annoyed with me, even though I don't do my homework and study scripture to battle the lies I believe. THANK you Jesus. Sometimes I wish everyone could be a teacher for a little while. It really is just an eye-opener. I can't imagine doing anything else. I love my job. I love my mission field. I love my kids.  I want to live a brave life. Bravely walking into school every day with courage and love and patience and grace and all things good as my weapons. I want to bravely witness to my kids through my actions. I want to live a brave life.

PS- if you're in Waco, you should stop by someday. Mrs. Belz's class loves to play tag and all things that involve joy and laughter and happiness. Also we love treats :)

lately.

There has been a lot lately. I really miss writing about things on here, I think it helps me process somewhat.

First things first, I started my job a few weeks ago :) Praise Jesus what a blessing it has been! I cannot even describe how wonderful it is. Don't get me wrong, it's really hard. BUT it is SO GOOD!!! Isn't that funny how the hard things are really good sometimes? School is amazing. My kids are amazing. The staff is amazing. Jesus has blessed me immensely by placing me in my 3rd grade classroom.

I just FEEL the prayers being lifted up from the people I work with and especially from the parents of my kids. Each and every kid in my class is such a nugget!!! Here is such a good a good example of how precious my babies are: Every Friday we have a "Family Meeting" where we talk about different topics. We sit in a circle on the floor and one person talks at a time and everyone else listens. It's so rich. So this past Friday I came up with the topic, "something that makes you sad." I said, "boys and girls why do you think someone may want to talk about something that makes them sad? Why do you think it would help our family if we knew?" Many replied, "it would help us know where they are coming from and why they react to different things." I'm telling you, they are so mature sometimes. Anyways, I went first and I talked about my Dad. I'll explain this later in the post but I haven't really talked about this with anyone but my family in a long time. So I decided to open up to the people I spend the majority of my time with. I told them how my Daddy is very sick and has a disease that is called Lou Gehrig's disease. I said how it's kinda like cancer where it attacks parts of your body but what my Daddy has, attacks his muscles. Then all their hands went up....

1. "Mrs. Belz, can it be cured?"
2. "Can he speak?"
3. "Does he get to eat food since his tongue doesn't work? I hope he doesn't starve."
4. "Does he get to go places?"

Those were just a few. I teared up a lot. Maybe cried a little bit. It was the sweetest thing ever. They had such compassion. SO much love in there faces. I could tell that it made me a little more real to them. I wanted to tell them about Jesus and the hope He's given me, so badly. But oh my goodness, probably one of the best times in class. People continued to talk about things that made them sad. Some were serious and some were a little silly but everyone listened intently to what their friends had to say. I was so proud. AH MY HEART OVERFLOWS. 

I think it's so crazy how much love I have for those kids. I wish I could fully understand how much love my Father has for me. I am His beloved child. I am His favored. So sweet and good.

Another thing I've noticed is how interesting life has been lately. Husband has been so patient and loving with me as I've wrestled with issues. I just felt so...lonely...up until a few days ago. I felt lost. I felt like I wasn't intimate with Jesus. I felt like I was a forgotten friend since I had gotten married. I have lost the habit of being open with people. I used to be really good about it! But since my Dad's diagnosis, I have closed the doors to my heart and let few instead of many inside. Interesting. I don't really know about it yet, I haven't completely figured the whole thing out. I think I'm moving into a season where Jesus really does become my best friend. For so long I always had so many to turn to, and for so long I went to people first. I think this season I'm learning to glean love from Jesus. Glean acceptance from Jesus. Glean quality time from HIM! (Quality Time is my love language). This is a combination of the fact that I'm so tired after school and that husband is the most comforting person to be with during those times. Jesus has been so sweet opening my eyes the past few days. I don't really have anything figured out, I just feel like this season will truly be sweet. 

I'm sure of this: I'll march right into my mission field with my best friend holding my hand. Thanks Jesus for that picture. I love that He gives me pictures that just squeeze my soul and make the tears come out. 

On another note, I found a dead cockroach under our bed today. hor.ri.fied. Sick and WRONG. Husband got that stupid sucker. I've officially coined him as a superhero.....boldly killing bugs, one after another. I don't know about you but I would definitely consider that a superpower. Where Thor has a giant hammer, Ben has a vacuum. BOOM. I should present this idea to Marvel. 

on being blessed.

I wish I could explain how completely and utterly blessed Ben and I were from our wedding shenanigans.

God provided in SO MANY amazing ways. I can't even believe all the things that He did for us through you people. I am going to try and scratch the surface on the gratitude that Ben and I feel for everyone that surrounded us on the days leading up to our wonderful day:

1. We didn't have to pay for the place we got married. Hutto Bible Church was such a huge answer to prayers. When Bobby and Amy Pruitt talked to my parents about them wanting us to get married at the church, I was so surprised. I have always wanted Bobby to marry me and my future spouse. Ever since I was in youth group and talking about purity and becoming more Christlike. I knew that my future husband was going to be special. I knew that my wedding was going to be precious. And I knew that I wanted Bobby to marry me. So after years of not really thinking about that, it was kinda funny how it worked out! THANK YOU BOBBY AND AMY.
2. My old Young Life leader and good friend called me one day when I was at school and told me she wanted to make all my invitations and send them to everyone as her and her husband's gift to us. I cried. Duh I cried. Partially because I knew Ashley would make them so perfectly (and they were MORE than that) but also because she always knows how to love me so well. Such a blessing. THANK YOU ASHLEY AND MICAH.
3. Amy Pruitt told me and my mom that she wanted to cook all the food that I wanted. All of it. WHAT?! If you have never met the Pruitt family, you need to. Such a group of selfless servants. Amy is the most kind-hearted and loving woman. She gathered a group of friends and cooked all my little desserts and arranged them so perfectly. Better than I could have ever imagined. THANK YOU AMY AND FRIENDS.
4. One of my mom's good friends called and said she wanted to make my wedding cake. UM OKAY!!! She and her friend made it just the most perfect way. So simple and wonderful. It tasted lovely smeared all over my face (thanks Ben hehe). And she went OUT of her way to get real flowers to put on it!!! So over and above what I was thinking. THANK YOU JAMI AND JENNIFER.
5. Ben's Aunt Christy worked with someone that owed her a favor so she used that to get us our photobooth!! I had been secretly wanting one for a long time but knew we could never afford it so I didn't say anything but JESUS KNEW!!! He gave us a way to see all our funny friends ah we loved it! THANK YOU AUNT CHRISTY.
6. Mrs. Parker organized a meal for all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to have on the day of the wedding and brought it to the church so that we would be fed!!! I should have eaten more of that. It was so good. THANK YOU MRS. PARKER. 
7. Donna Benge and Kristy Rhine helped SO much setting up the church before the wedding. Kristy got all the piping drape for the alter and her and her family help set up lights on the porch in the blistering heat. God bless y'all. Donna basically made my alter perfectly the way I was imagining and they helped me so much with getting the church the way I was wanting it. THANK YOU DONNA AND KRISTY.
8. Shelly Corbin, Rhonda Steczkowski, and Kim Williamson helped me coordinate the wedding. They helped me think of all the little details that I had NO IDEA about. Shelly let me borrow countless things for the wedding so I didn't have to buy them too!! THANK YOU SHELLY, RHONDA AND KIM.
9. Carolyn, David, and Rachel Jeske offered to film the whole wedding weekend and edit it for Ben and me!! It was so personal and so special to have people that I have known for SO long to be there for all the things going on at rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself. I can't wait to see it!!!!! THANK YOU JESKE'S.
10. My AMAZING BRIDESMAIDS. Holy moly. There is too much to say! These women were like superheroes. In the weeks leading up to the wedding we dominated all the crafts and things that I had to make for the wedding (which was like, everything).We had many a delirious nights laughing hysterically while washing mason jars or painting or creating banners or those messy hanging orbs. Lady got together ALL the table cloths and serving plates from various women at church. April and Lady planned the BEST bachelorette party ever. Lauren and Anna helped keep people from stressing me out on the wedding. April was the best maid of honor ever. Ever. I knew she would be. I wish I could write down what everyone did. All the little things. All the alleviated stress they took from me. My 4 besties. Without them, I would have been a mess. They organized so many things for me to be so completely blessed. And the best best best part was when they all prayed for me before I walked down the aisle. I was crying crying crying because I just felt so FLOODED with love. Jesus seriously used them SO much through the entire process. My bosom friends. I could write an entire post about these women. I love you all. THANK YOU BESTIES.
11. To all the people I didn't name- the way you served without expectation, blessed me and Ben to tears. Our wedding was so personal to us. So tender and rich. I wish I could hug you all a million times. You mean so much. What a beautiful picture of how our marriage will be if all these people rallied together to make our wedding happen!! I am so glad I didn't know what all a wedding involved before I got engaged. Jesus used all of you to enable us to have a wonderfully blessed marriage. We feel SO blessed already. 
12. To our wonderful parents- thank you. Thank you for loving us so well. Lindsey and Kirk, thank you for raising me in such a way that can be emulated in our own future family. What wonderful examples. Thank you for being such HUGE spiritual supporters for us. Thank you for being so generous with your time, love, money and advice. I can't even describe how much I love you two, and my three brothers :). THANK YOU MOM AND DAD.

OH MY GOODNESS. This post was so humbling. I am so thankful. Tears of joy. JOY JOY JOY JOY DOWN IN MY HEART YEAH!!! I could go on and on and on. Thank you LORD! We will praise Your name forever. Forever we will remember the works you have done. Forever we will bless your HOLY and GOOD name. 

I love all you wonderful people!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

More to come from the banks of the Brazos,

Kambly Belz

we're choosing forever.

BEN AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!!! Surprise! 

Okay so, I've been really out of touch with the blogging world. I have missed my little blog. So much has happened in the past month and a half. Big life changes! Good life changes. 

Love is good. Love is hard. I have learned so much about love in the past 2 months. So grateful to have a God that loves me so relentlessly and unconditionally. Sometimes I feel so worthless and undeserving! But HE never thinks that of me. So wonderful. 

Things I've learned about Ben that I didn't know before we got engaged:

1. He hates shaving. Why does this matter? I prefer love non-sandpaper faces. But hey, who am I to judge right? It's not like I shave my legs every day. 
2. He's a really good thank-you-note-writer.
3. He loves Big League Chew and Sunflower Seeds more than I do.
4. He is the MOST generous person I have ever encountered. He would give you the shirt off his back without even thinking twice. 
5. He likes to experiment when cooking...something I don't gravitate towards. Yay for growth!
6. He is really good at Tennis. 
7. He "experiences God when driving." I don't like to drive. So that statement really wowed me. 
8. Last night he used the word "WOWZA" when talking about living together when we get married. Cool points= +50.

Holy moly. I am one lucky woman. 

Look at that face. Concerned that I would fall off the edge. Thankful for that man!

Guess what

I WAS HEALED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Story: last semester I went to the doctor and they did blood-work and found out that I had way to much Thyroid. It's called Hyperthyroidism and can lead to Graves Disease blah blah blah. I was at .05 and was supposed to be at 3 something or other (too much Thyroid was causing my TSH level to be extremely low). Anyways, they said that it could lead to long term effects and that it could be a tumor so I needed to take a Radioactive Iodine scan, a what you ask? I don't know either. It basically just checks to see if there is a tumor etc on the Thyroid that could be causing me to produce too much Thyroid. The test was $500. I asked if I had to do it then because 1. I couldn't afford it. 2. believed God could heal me. I decided to not go through with the test and just delay. That Sunday at church my roomie Lisa prayed for me and I really believed that I was healed. I didn't think about it anymore!

This past week I have been feeling super nauseous and faint. My heartbeat was beating really quickly and it was causing me to sweat a lot at night. I went to the doctor and (without any tests) he told me it was DEFINITELY my Thyroid problems and the symptoms I was having were because of my Hyperthyroidism. I got a little freaked out. I was scared about how I was going to pay for everything etc. I didn't want to believe that, I was healed I thought!! So they did blood-work again and I wasn't expecting results till Monday.

The doctor called me Friday. "We don't know how to explain this but...your Thyroid levels are completely normal. Your blood-work came out negative for Hyperthyroidism. You are completely fine now so we are going to cancel all tests!"

YESSSS!!!!!! I WAS HEALED I AM HEALED I AM FREE FROM DISEASE AND FINANCIAL BURDEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cried. Bawled actually. What an answer to my families prayers, ben's prayers, and roomie prayers. Jesus is so faithful. HE is SO GOOD. He paid the price for my healing on the cross. I believe in His promises.

Thank you Jesus. You are so worthy of PRAISE and HONOR.

Oh Relentless Love

His grace chases after me. HOW restoring. How freeing. Hallelujah! You HAVE to download Relentless Love from the World Mandate 2011 album.

O relentless Love

Grace that chases me

O relentless Love

Morning faithfully brings mercy to me

Your sweet mercy

I am found in Your love

Never once been forsaken

You will come my Rescuer

And wash every fear away

All-atoning sacrifice

Your pursuit never-ending

You have paid the highest price

So you can have my all

I am Yours You are mine

You fought for me

Jesus with all my heart

I cry worthy

I cry worthy I cry worthy

I cry worthy I cry worthy

Yesterday I had the coolest experience. I decided to start praying for one student specifically in my class every day. It. Was. AWESOME. Then the whole day I had time to just shower the room with prayers for my students while they were testing. I don't know why I have never done this before. I get so caught up in the next person to help or teach that I forget the most important thing!! I felt the Lord's presence in my classroom yesterday. I'll feel it today too, I know it :) I challenge you to pray over wherever you are today. Whether it's in your college class, the kitchen, office or restaurant. It is SO empowering and SO amazing. He is faithful. I had so many more sweet moments yesterday than usual. 

Dear Jesus, 

Thank you for this awesome opportunity to teach and love your children. You are the ultimate and faithful lover. Oh my soul rejoices! You're my best friend.

Love,

Kambly

Comforting

I really love the winter. It's just comforting to me. It's socially acceptable to stay indoors and cuddle under fuzzy and knit blankets. Thanks Jesus for always cuddling me. Oh and thank you for always providing. You bring so much restoration.

Rouse yourself up and look to God. Build your hope on Him. No matter if there are a hundred and one things that press, resolutely exclude them all and look to Him. "Look unto Me," and salvation is, the moment you look.

-Oswald Chambers

Soon I'll be a runner...

One of my New Years Resolution this year is to become a runner. Some of you may know that I HATE RUNNING. Literally despise it. I have never run more than 2.5 miles....yes, that is merely the Beartrail, once. I can power walk like the dad in Malcolm in the Middle all day long, but running?! Here is what usually happens:

1. I think I'm gonna go running.
2. Here I am...at the Beartrail...I can do this.
3. Start running...oh no I'm going too fast...can't. breathe. suffocating. body. aching.
4. Slow down...stop running...thank goodness...that was miserable.

BUT I WILL CHANGE!!! I'm gonna run the Bearathon. Yep, I'm gonna do it! I will cross "run a half marathon" off my bucket list!!! 

Today I ran almost 2 miles. I ran really really slowly. Poor Ben, he really should run ahead of me and leave me in the dust. He won't. And he won't let me stop either. The other day we ran a mile and I was DYING. I literally almost cried haha and he wouldn't let me stop!! I was whining like a baby: 

Me- "Ben PLEASE let me stop I can't BREATHE!!!" 

Ben- "No. You're going to finish this. You can do this!"

Me- "I CAN'T, I HATE YOU!!!" (I don't really hate him. I'm just dramatic.)

He made me sprint at the end too. Meany. I guess that means he's a good trainer though....

Anyways, if anyone else wants to run the Bearathon JOIN THE TRAIN!!! I'm really excited. I think I'm going to feel really accomplished :) Happy New Years! I can't wait to see all the things that this year holds.