Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Ben and I went to Round Rock to help with my family this past Sunday (which we often do on the weekends) and it was a really hard day. Automatically when we decided to go, I was bombarded with feelings of guilt and uneasiness. Ben always says that he doesn't know why I feel guilty going to visit my family when it's the most un-selfish thing to do. I don't know, I just feel like I'm not BEING where I'm at. Or that I'm using too much gas etc etc. Ben is always the confirmer in situations like these. He ALWAYS says, "Kam. We're going. You want to see your family. I want to see your family. We want to help. There is no doubt that Jesus wants to bless them this way." I love Ben. Oh man I love him!!! Anyways, when we get there, it is SO hard. I feel so much doubt in Jesus' promise to heal. I feel so much discouragement and just extreme sadness.  When we left, I still felt this way: wishing I could help MORE, wishing I could take the pain and sadness away from me and my family. So many wishes.

We left Round Rock early enough to make it to church and we were trying to decide if we should indeed go since I was bawling in the car. We went. Praise sweet Jesus. I cannot EXPLAIN how perfect the entire service was. It was as if Jesus planned it out just for me. Songs about restoration, renewal, His love, letting go of burdens, new days, and more of His love. Oh man it washed over me like rain. Flooded with the Spirit and overwhelmed with His presence as I gave my family up to Him.

THEN the most amazing thing happened. This woman told one of the pastors she had a word for an individual in church tonight and for our congregation. Right then, I KNEW it was for me. I don't know how, I just knew. She got up and said that the Lord gave her a vision of a bag of groceries and in that bag were vegetables. All the vegetables had an expiration date on them, so that individual was throwing them away. BUT the Lord said those vegetables are MY PROMISES. There is NO EXPIRATION on them. You shouldn't give up because you have put an expiration date on them when there is none! My promises are GOOD and they NEVER run out OR expire!!!!!

BOOM. Hit Ben and I like a ton of bricks. We just start WEEPING in church. I can't explain the comfort I felt. Just of so many cries from my heart answered. It was like this verse:

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans."- Hebrews 8:26 MSG

What a good word. So needed!!!! Jesus seriously ROCKS. He is so tender, so rich with love. When fear or doubt creeps in, He is the hope for my soul.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."- Hebrews 6:19 NIV

Be encouraged. His promises have no expiration date.

hello january 4th.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Blogging is funny. I feel like I blog about the same things most of the time but I don't care. I like it.

I want to brag about my husband. Just because I love him so much. I always knew I would love being married but it has SO far exceeded my expectations.

ice-skating in Kansas
Ben is my BEST friend. He is every quality I want and need in a friend. (I can't believe that I almost didn't go on a first date with him!!!) I'm sure that most wives feel like this about their husband but you'd be wrong because BEN IS THE BEST. Just kidding. But really, he is. Ben is the man I prayed and waited for. Jesus is so sweet.

Being married to Ben Belz is the best experience I've ever had. Cheesy right? Don't care. Not only is he the HOTTEST sexiest man EVER, but he is a man of AMAZING character. I don't know many people who would so wholeheartedly love and help someone like Ben does. Every time we go home to my parent's house, Ben is one of the first people to jump up when my Dad needs something. Because Dad can't really talk anymore, communicating is very difficult. Typically conversations are a very long process and take so much patience from both my Dad and the person listening. Ben spent almost 2 hours getting my Dad's advice on car insurance because he knew it would mean a lot to him. Ben is such a man of patience and respect.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Ben is the most selfless person I have ever encountered. When I'm in a puddle of tears, he prays for me. When I feel sick or discouraged, he serves me better than I ever have been. He ALWAYS pursues me and it is a priority to him for me to feel loved. Over the break, I woke up many mornings and thought, "How in the world did I get so lucky?" Of course he responds, "I'm the lucky one." #whatever

Ben, you are the love of my life. Jesus chose the perfect partner and friend for me to spend life with. I love living life with you!!! I don't think I will ever lose the giddiness I feel when I see you. Whether it's from across our apartment, or down the hall at my school. I love being nerdy with you. And I love that my kids see how ridiculously awesome you are.....

"MR. BELZ ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!"

Why yes, little 3rd graders, he does. AND HE IS MINE.

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