thankful list.

Sometimes when I feel the tendency to be ungrateful is far outweighing my tendency to appreciate, I try to make a thankful list. I struggle with comparing myself to others. It's something I've become very aware about myself lately. I don't know why I do it. I compare my looks, my friendships, my marriage and my things. It just KILLS me. Once I start, it is almost as if I can't stop. I dig myself deeper and deeper until it feels as if I am at the bottom of a huge well. There the rope is too short for me to reach and pull myself out. Sometimes, if I am not too self-absorbed, I look around at the bottom and I see that Jesus is standing there with me. I ask Him for help and He invites me to stand on His shoulders so I can reach the rope. He helps me CHOOSE to get out of the well. Even though I know He's there with me, it's so hard for me to choose to get out of the darkness sometimes! In an effort to truly relish in thankfulness, I am going to list some things I'm thankful for :)

I'm thankful for...

1. Ben
2. my family
3. 11 months of marriage with my best friend
4. 9 year old hands holding mine
5. people calling me "Mrs. Belz"
6. being debt-free
7. my car, Suzi :)
8. my necklace Dad gave me on my wedding day
9. my Bible app
10. our down comforter
11. flowers in our home
12. peanut butter cookies
13. hugs that last long
14. smiles that light the room
15. my wedding ring
16. chai
17. Ben
18. my BU tervis
19. humidity making my hair curl
20. shampoo that smells like heaven 
21. talks with Mom
22. our apartment looking over the river
23. waco
24. our church
25. Truth
26. no babies yet
27. new married friends
28. encouraging texts
29. anniversary trip planning
30. my job
31. my phone
32. snapchat hehe
33. slurpees
34. drives with Ben
35. skies prettier than paint
36. late nights with friends
37. Ben
38. working with Sarah
39. jean shorts
40. my computer
41. having a sexy husband
42. dance with Dad at our wedding
43. SUMMER
44. colors
45. felt tipped pens
46. washer and dryer
47. grace
48. nail polish
49. emojis
50. JESUS. thank you Lord.

It feels good to speak thankfulness over yourself. I am thankful.