Today, what I'm thinking. 

Can't wait for my flag football game at 6...FAMILY is coming!! They love me :)

Another Early Morning

You know what, I really like mornings. This is convenient because my future occupation pretty much requires it. This morning I woke up at 3:45. Not on purpose. Inconvenient? Yes. BUT I was able to get so much done!! I cleaned and made muffins and worked and did laundry and got to spend time with Jesus with my yummy candle. 

I love mornings. His mercies are new every morning. I love that. 

This verse just brings me joy every morning. 

Psalm 143:8 (NIV)

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, 

for I have put my trust in you. 

Show me the way I should go, 

for to you I entrust my life.

Read this version too.

Psalm 143:8 (The Message)

If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice, 

I'll go to sleep each night trusting in you. 

Point out the road I must travel; 

I'm all ears, all eyes before you.

Also:

Ephesians 1:19b (The Message)

oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!

Mhmm yes. Will you walk in that today? Days I walk in that are simply the best.

One Thing Remains

It's been so long little blog!! I have been so busy with school and work the past two weeks that I haven't found time to blog at all....

Good news: I DID IT!!!! First two weeks under my belt!!!! I got placed at a low-income school and I absolutely LOVE it. I thought I would hate it, I really did. Nope nope nope!! The minute my little (actually they are quite big, I am so short) 4th graders walked into the room, I felt SO much love for them. It was insane how much love and compassion I felt just leaping towards each of them. I knew it was my Jesus, I knew He was just loving them so much. It felt so good! Every morning, the Lord gives me so much energy for those kids. I love them so much already and it's only been two weeks!! I know without a doubt that I was made for this. I was made to teach. And the Lord has just blessed my socks off the past two weeks.

Second awesome thing: my parents fence caught on fire (they don't know how) and the Lord protected them from the whole house burned down!! You can read it on my mom's Facebook. The morning I found out, I was overwhelmed by emotion because they could have died but mainly because I was so thankful. SO thankful for protection! So thankful for our neighbor who happened to be smoking late that night and saw it!! WHOO HOOO JESUS ROCKS!!!!

Third awesome thing: this makes me cry every time I think of it. People started a fun run for my family. AH so humbling and SUCH a blessing and SO amazing. I have never experienced this before but the amount of people who have showed interest is overwhelming to me. The random people that barely know us and want to help. Coming home from a long day at school and finding my roommate inviting everyone she knows to the event on Facebook. WHAT A BLESSING!!! I feel so helplessly loved. So undeservedly loved! If you want more info, you can look at the event!

There are just too many awesome things to write out. Blessings every day. People are so cool. I wish I could hug everyone and tell them, COME ON JESUS LOVES YOU!!!!!!! At church this past week they put John 3:16 up on the screen and it just hit me. That verse is SO powerful and growing up in a Christian environment, I guess I became immune to it or something.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him."-John 3:16-17

One thing remains: His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me!!! Get that song.

Dear Jesus, 

Thanks.

God is L-o-v-e

I was listening to a sermon today that I've heard before and I felt like I should share what he was saying.

He was talking about how sometimes we as Christians feel like God isn't loving us fully. We feel like God has backed away from us because of something we have done to "make God upset." That is wrong. God is NEVER the one that leaves us or steps away from us. WE are the ones that do this!!! I am the one to isn't recognizing God's love that He is constantly giving me.

Andrew Wommack made this comparison: It's like if we were watching TV and all of a sudden the TV went black. We don't automatically call the TV station and tell them to start broadcasting again. They are always broadcasting. We need to check our receiver! Our receiver is the problem. This is just like so many other things in our lives! Just because we don't see the signal, it doesn't mean that it isn't there waiting to be seen. My Jesus wants me. My Jesus loves me ALL the time, no matter how well I do in school or how much I hang out with Him. He's the best friend I've got (I wish I remembered this). Such a simple concept that I forget sometimes. It's so foundational though! So many issues in life come from the root problem of not truly believing that God loves ME. I think..."I'm a wretched sinner. I'm not having a quiet time. I am self conscious."

Who cares?!?!?! 

You are righteous in The Spirit. I am righteous in The Spirit. See...

Romans 8:9-11 (NIV)
You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

We were "made right" with God the minute He died on the cross. Done. THEN and FOREVER!!!! How stinkin awesome. Nothing you can do can separate you from Him. You don't need to confess in order to be made right with Him!! HE did it all. He did it all for me. And you. 

Oh how He loves.

A Year Ago

One year ago today my Daddy was diagnosed with ALS. I can't believe it's been a whole year!! If someone were to ask me to sum up this crazy year in one word, it would be growth.

I feel like I have grown so much in this past year. In one year I have cried more than I have the past 20 years combined. In one year I have read more of the Bible than ever. I have been confused, frustrated, sad, encouraged, joyful, happy, loved and scared. I have felt as if I have been on a roller-coaster more times than I can count. I have watched my Dad fall on his face. I have watched him take action on his faith and walk on the treadmill.

I feel like this year has been the most amazing and ridiculously hard year I have ever experienced. How interesting that those two adjectives could describe the same experience! I'll tell you the story of my Junior year: My first semester of school after finding out that my dad had ALS was the most heartbreaking time. I felt like I was constantly on the verge of tears. It is/was the worst feeling. I got to the point where I was so frustrated with God. I remember vividly one time screaming in my car, "THERE IS NO POINT TO PRAY TO YOU AND ASK FOR PEACE BECAUSE YOU AREN'T DOING ANYTHING TO HELP MY DAD!!!!!" Man, was I wrong. About two weeks after that we got a christmas present. What a blessing. I have seen financial blessing in my life countless times, but nothing like this (funny how I have to re-learn this every time there is financial stress in our family). Over the next few weeks, I finally took my mom's advice to listen to some sermons. The man speaking talked about concepts so foreign to me. That we are already blessed, and that ultimately God wants us to be happy and blessed in this life. If you have time I HIGHLY recommend these sermons. With the help of those podcasts, and God's word, my spiritual life has been transformed (and continues to be).  From that point forward, I began to receive revelation that God not only didn't bring this sickness upon my dad, but that he hates it. Sickness is not from Him. Sickness is a curse, never intended for us. I began to have hope. I am sure my roommates can attest to this because I became less of a weepy wreck, to more of a delver in the Word or a searcher of Truth. Life felt like less of a hopeless journey with phrases like. "just make it through this hard time," to more of a battle! A battle. My second semester was spent winning and losing battles. But friends, I want to emphasize this: I beyond a shadow of a doubt KNOW that Jesus did not want this disease for my father. I KNOW that He hates that we suffer. I KNOW this isn't just something that I am going through to learn something. Yes, I will learn. And yes, I have. But that doesn't mean HE did this. This subject is so deep, and I definitely don't know near as much as there is to know, but I do know that I am learning. I do know that I have more hope and joy in my life because I know more now than I did that GOD LOVES ME. So immensely. And because of this, He would never do something to hurt me. Would you want to hurt someone you LOVED more than anything else? Now multiply that times a million bazillion. Yep, pretty sure He wouldn't ever want to see me suffer. 


Friends, this journey has been hard. Such a journey. I have been so encouraged and blessed by so many of you. Thanks. I know that some of the things I said may not make much sense because I have a hard time articulating things but I would love to talk in person if anyone wants! Just remember this right now because it is what I cling onto every day: 


You are loved. You are WONDERFUL.

{Quote of the day}

"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." 

—A.W. Tozer

{via weheartit}

{Summer Lovin'}

Dear Frozen Mini Reeses, we have a love-hate relationship. Right now, I hate you. Dear Barton Springs, your subzero water temperature makes laying out bearable but Apey doesn't like your "floaties" (fungi, algae) so we won't be back this summer. Dear Boot-campers, seeing you raise your hands during worship makes me cry. Dear Little Brothers, thanks for acting like you were embarrassed that I visited. I know you loved it. Dear Andrew Wommack, listening to you while working has made the hours quite meaningful. Dear Summer, I love you.

{Sleeplessness}

Sleeplessness has been a commonality these days. I don't know what it is. Last summer it was the same! I would wake up every night last summer around 4am and text someone a random thought. I don't know why I did that, but it was fun.

I don't like being sleepless. Also, I'm not a huge fan of being a borderline insomniac. I like regular patterns. I like routine. I've been in Waco this summer off and on and I have found myself longing for routine again (hopefully that's a sign I'll like teaching). Every time I leave Austin, I yearn to go back. I yearn for my family and bosom friend. It's funny that I am saying this because if you would have asked me a few months ago if I was excited about going home this summer, I would have absolutely said "no."

There is just something about home that draws me back. Comfort, acceptance, forgiveness and love. The notion that no matter who I am at any given moment, I will be accepted entirely. What a lovely thought. That's God's kind of love right there. Do you believe God loves you? Do you really? I recognized recently that I didn't truly believe that God loved me. I always thought "Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so" but I attributed this love to my performance. God doesn't love me more or less if I have a quiet time or tithe or share the gospel. He loves me just the same. No matter what. I love to love and be loved. What a mind blowing, life shattering, heart exploding thought!!! HE LOVES ME! HE BLESSED ME! Oh my, my little heart with burst. He loves me. He loves me. He loves you...right where you are...no matter what.

Go bless someone today, go love.

{via weheartit}

{My heart will burst at the thought of..}

1. My dad being healed. Oh how I wait for that blessed day that his body finally responds to the promise written in the Scripture. The promise that He has already paid the price. We are saved. "Saved" in the Bible comes from the Greek word sozo. Sozo means several things: cured, ensured salvation, get well, made well, recovered and restored. Restored is my favorite. I love the notion that He restores me daily. He restores me mentally, physically and emotionally. He has restored everyone of us when He died for us...by His stripes we are healed- Isaiah 53:5. 
2. Having my own home. I get butterflies when I think about the tiny house that I so want in the future! It will be warm and cozy and clean. There will always be pillows and blankets in the living room so I can lay on the floor with loved ones and talk about life as we know it. There will be candles to make me feel like I am walking into a perfectly lovely store. I want a tin roof to fall asleep under with the rain pitter-pattering like a noise machine app on my phone. I want a rap-around porch with rocking chairs that I can sit and rock away the years with family. I want a yard with a swing on the tree so I can watch the world while swaying with the wind. I want flowers because there really isn't any better smell than freshly planted flowers in mulch. I want lots of crazy mugs that show how many places I've traveled and drank delicious chai and (hopefully) coffee. I want my bathroom mirrors to be covered in verses and Truths. I want mason jars and twinkle lights all over. I want a crafty room for the kiddies with chalkboard walls. I just can't wait for a home. 
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero's - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo
3. Europe in the winter! OH I cannot wait till I get to Europe and teach the little ones and travel and all things good. I have a feeling I will want to stay. Can't wait to pretend I'm really artsy fartsy. 
4. Becoming a teacher. I can't wait to love my students. I can't wait to know all of their names and little of what makes them up. I can't wait to write down silly quotes and take silly pictures of crumbs on their face or their shirts inside out. I can't wait to welcome them with a hug every morning and push them out of my class in the afternoon :)

I sometimes get so happy thinking about the future and what is to come! Joy joy joy joy down in my heart, YAY! 

I love the here and now. But as Anne Shirley says: tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. 

love.

I stumbled upon this, isn't it cool?

Reminds me that the Lord gives us all the love we could ever dream of. I'm so blessed by that thought!

today's treasure.

I've been learning a lot about faith lately, and how much faith I lack. 

My eyes have been opened to how crucial faith is in my spiritual walk. Why has this never clicked?!?
Well today I finally started my Beth Moore bible study that I got with Ashley a few months ago and it is so ridiculously relevant to my thoughts/desires lately! God is crazy. His timing is so p.e.r.f.e.c.t.

This quote really stuck out to me:
"Biblically speaking, faith is without equal in its effects on our lives because God is without equal and faith is the normative invitation He answers with proof."


Woah. BAM. She goes on to talk about the meaning of the word faith in Greek and how the present active participle Greek verb of faith that you should think of the word as continually preceding the verb. In other words, we are supposed to be presently, actively and continually believing God.
God is calling us to leave the passive life bred by a past-tense view of faith and to participate in present-active-participle believing!

Check this out:

Ephesians 1:13-19
"It's in Christ that you, once you heard the truth and believed it (this Message of your salvation), found yourselves home free—signed, sealed, and delivered by the Holy Spirit. This signet from God is the first installment on what's coming, a reminder that we'll get everything God has planned for us, a praising and glorious life.

That's why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn't stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I'd think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!"

He is so great. He is so good. He is so beautiful. More to come on this topic later as I learn more and more! 

quotable.

“Go back, then, a little way to the choice mercies of yesterday, and though all may be dark now, light up the lamps of the past, they shall glitter through the darkness, and thou shalt trust in the Lord till the day break and the shadows flee away.” 

–Charles Spurgeon

He gives me strength.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

oh holy night.

my favorite christmas song of all time is "oh holy night."

right now i have 10 different versions in line on grooveshark.

i love it!

but really. think about the lyrics. i wish we sung this in church all year. 

long lay the world, in sin and error pining

till He appeared and the soul felt it's worth.

a thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices,

for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

sheesh. want a little background?

placide cappeau, what an author. in 1847 a priest asked him to write a poem for christmas. he did and wrote a beautiful hymn. he asked his friend adolphe adams to compose music to go along with the words. oh p.s, it was first written in french :)

the rest of the words in the song are so beautiful as well. but i love the lyric "long lay the world, in sin and error pining till He appeared and the soul felt it's worth." 
we don't deserve His perfection. His mercy. His love.


merry christmas everyone!!

my christmas miracle.

well the fam has been really struggling with money lately. no surprise since my dad can't work anymore. it's gotten really difficult for him to talk/walk. i've been stressing and worrying about how i'm going to not only survive the baylor materialism mindset but how my family is going to pay the bills. 

it really is silly that i was so overwhelmed. i always do this! typical kambly, picking up the burdens and worries that He tells me to leave behind with Him. 

my family has a really cool, unique story of how the Lord has provided to us when we had literally no way to pay the bills. for example, when i was a freshman in high school, our car got repossessed at least 2 times (i would ask my parents but they aren't home). if you aren't familiar with what it means to get your car repossessed, look it up. it's humiliating and extremely humbling to look out the window and watch our car get towed away (i don't know if i've ever thought about that before). well our neighbors paid for us to get it back once and somehow we were miraculously given money the second time. 

our ac has broken during the summer....no way to pay for it to get fixed....and we find an envelope of cash in our mailbox. countless stories such as these and i STILL WORRY. 

get it together kam, get it together. 

so i'm sure you're wondering (you few people who read my blog) what it is that happened?! what is this christmas miracle that is referenced in your title!?!?!? 

let. me. tell. you.

fact one: we have no money. fact two: no christmas presents this year. fact three: life sucks.

BOOM

some ladies my mom used to work with tell her to come to the preschool because they have a present for her. mom and i walk in and they are all standing in a circle. they give her an envelope with a $500 visa gift card and and a $500 check. cue the waterworks from mom. bawling. i'm shockingly able to keep it together. all the ladies move and there are three little christmas trees and a poster with gift cards and cash covering them (money really does grow on trees!). every year, each preschool class chooses a family in need that they can help. every class chose ours. once again, humbling. wanna see a picture? here i'll show you.

as you can see...lots of gift cards to lots of places. wanna know how much it added up to be? 

i'll show you that too.

 

yea. ummm. speechless. God REALLY provides.

oh! another cool thing: this lady wrote my parents a letter and was like "i want to give you something that lasts longer than a night" etc and basically said that since she is an occupational therapist, her clinic place is going to look at our house for free and tell us what improvements need to be made for my dad. 

well people. if you are worrying about money....just stop. because He will provide. He will. HE WILL!

i hope this brings you happiness. because He once again showed up and totally rocked my stupid human mind. i hope He rocks yours this christmas season

it truly was a christmas miracle. i'm feeling a really corny song coming on right about now....

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

You alone can rescue.

lately i've been struggling with some questions. formed out of lies and hurt. the biggest question i've had the past few days is this: how am i suppose to have faith that the Lord will give me peace right now when the end result is heartbreaking? how am i supposed to be okay today knowing the future that is coming?

i've been wrestling and wrestling. wishing i had answers. all i know is that i can't do this without Him. living these past few days feeling out of fellowship with the Lord has been horrible. literally. every part of me is ill. i'm physically sick, mentally tired, emotionally exhausted, and spiritually aching. this time out of the Lord's fellowship has made me realize that i don't have to have the answers because i literally don't know them. i'm not going to focus on those unanswered questions. i just need Him to hold me. i need to know that someone is with me. someone is with me through this overwhelming sadness. 

david talks a lot about feeling as if he is in the "depths of despair." 

^{Psalm 30}

¹ I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me.

      You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.

 ² O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,

      and you restored my health.

 ³ You brought me up from the grave, O Lord.

      You kept me from falling into the pit of death.

He alone can rescue me. He did rescue me out of this pit. i sing this anthem today because He is the giver of life. He saves me.

Who, oh Lord, could save themselves, 

Their own soul could heal? 

Our shame was deeper than the sea 

Your grace is deeper still 

Who, oh Lord, could save themselves, 

Their own soul could heal? 

Our shame was deeper than the sea 

Your grace is deeper still 

You alone can rescue, You alone can save 

You alone can lift us from the grave 

You came down to find us, led us out of death 

To You alone belongs the highest praise 

You, oh Lord, have made a way 

The great divide You heal 

For when our hearts were far away 

Your love went further still 

Yes, your love goes further still 

You alone can rescue, You alone can save 

You alone can lift us from the grave 

You came down to find us, led us out of death 

To You alone belongs the highest praise 

To You alone belongs the highest praise

To You alone belongs the highest praise

You alone

let me rest in You.

You dwell in the songs that we are singing

rising to the Heavens, rising to Your heart, Your heart

our praises filling up the spaces

in between and frailty and everything You are

You are the keeper of my heart

and i'm restless, i'm restless

'til i rest in You, 'til i rest in You

i'm restless, i'm restless

'til i rest in You, 'til i rest in You

oh God, i wanna rest in You

oh, speak now for my soul is listening

say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark

'cause i know You're more than my salvation

without You i am hopeless, tell me who You are

You are the keeper of my heart

You are the keeper of my heart

and i'm restless, i'm restless

'til i rest in You, 'til i rest in You

i'm restless, i'm restless

'til i rest in You, 'til i rest in You

i wanna rest in You

still my heart hold me close

let me hear a still small voice

let it grow, let it rise

into a shout, into a cry

and i'm restless, i'm restless

'til i rest in You, let me rest in You

i'm restless, so restless

'til i rest in You, 'til i rest in You

oh God, i will rest in You

lamentations.

It's a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God

^19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,

the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.

I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—

the feeling of hitting the bottom.

But there's one other thing I remember,

and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,

his merciful love couldn't have dried up.

They're created new every morning.

How great your faithfulness!

I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).

He's all I've got left.

-The Message

prayer and healing.

So I've been wrestling with this topic a lot. Thinking, praying and talking about it. Here's some mixed thoughts.

God's kinda like the President. Some people believe that you can't just come to the President with any petty thing. That there are certain mediating ways but you don't just come rushing to the throne. But I think you can if you're the Presidents kid. If your his little son or daughter you have access to the Oval Office because that's not just the President, he's also Daddy. Who cares what your problem is! God wants to commune with us. He sent His son Jesus Christ to connect with us. "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need" Hebrews 4:16.

Cast ALL your cares upon Him! Psalm 55 says to "roll" your burdens onto the Lord and He'll sustain you.

You see, it's all about response. You can't just pray "get me out, get me out," you have to pray "God give me perspective in this." Of course I can ask to get out of tragedy. Jesus did! It makes sense to talk to God. He's the right guy to go to! Wherever I am in the spectrum of my life, my response SHOULD be to talk to God. Am I doing that?

God can heal people. It's up to God's sovereign will. The prayer of faith will save. Yeah, sometimes He doesn't. But that's not the point of our lives. Everyone is gonna end up dead in the end. The point of my life is to bring Him GLORY! So if I'm praying for my dad in faith, He will be glorified. If my dad doesn't have a life threatening sickness and is healed, He will be glorified. If my dad has a life threatening disease and goes to be with Him, He will be glorified. My response will potentially bring God more glory. I trust that He has a plan for my life. This stress sucks. But I've already seen His provision through this situation.

He's calling my attention to something glorious. In my sin, God did send someone to rescue me. It was His son. No matter how dark and twisted my life has become, I can call to Him.

So I'm gonna keep praying, I'm not gonna give up.

God loves to work miracles. God loves to save me.

when in need.

I doubt, He delivers. God provides.

Can I get an Amen?