You know what, I really like mornings. This is convenient because my future occupation pretty much requires it. This morning I woke up at 3:45. Not on purpose. Inconvenient? Yes. BUT I was able to get so much done!! I cleaned and made muffins and worked and did laundry and got to spend time with Jesus with my yummy candle. 

I love mornings. His mercies are new every morning. I love that. 

This verse just brings me joy every morning. 

Psalm 143:8 (NIV)

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, 

for I have put my trust in you. 

Show me the way I should go, 

for to you I entrust my life.

Read this version too.

Psalm 143:8 (The Message)

If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice, 

I'll go to sleep each night trusting in you. 

Point out the road I must travel; 

I'm all ears, all eyes before you.

Also:

Ephesians 1:19b (The Message)

oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!

Mhmm yes. Will you walk in that today? Days I walk in that are simply the best.

One Thing Remains

It's been so long little blog!! I have been so busy with school and work the past two weeks that I haven't found time to blog at all....

Good news: I DID IT!!!! First two weeks under my belt!!!! I got placed at a low-income school and I absolutely LOVE it. I thought I would hate it, I really did. Nope nope nope!! The minute my little (actually they are quite big, I am so short) 4th graders walked into the room, I felt SO much love for them. It was insane how much love and compassion I felt just leaping towards each of them. I knew it was my Jesus, I knew He was just loving them so much. It felt so good! Every morning, the Lord gives me so much energy for those kids. I love them so much already and it's only been two weeks!! I know without a doubt that I was made for this. I was made to teach. And the Lord has just blessed my socks off the past two weeks.

Second awesome thing: my parents fence caught on fire (they don't know how) and the Lord protected them from the whole house burned down!! You can read it on my mom's Facebook. The morning I found out, I was overwhelmed by emotion because they could have died but mainly because I was so thankful. SO thankful for protection! So thankful for our neighbor who happened to be smoking late that night and saw it!! WHOO HOOO JESUS ROCKS!!!!

Third awesome thing: this makes me cry every time I think of it. People started a fun run for my family. AH so humbling and SUCH a blessing and SO amazing. I have never experienced this before but the amount of people who have showed interest is overwhelming to me. The random people that barely know us and want to help. Coming home from a long day at school and finding my roommate inviting everyone she knows to the event on Facebook. WHAT A BLESSING!!! I feel so helplessly loved. So undeservedly loved! If you want more info, you can look at the event!

There are just too many awesome things to write out. Blessings every day. People are so cool. I wish I could hug everyone and tell them, COME ON JESUS LOVES YOU!!!!!!! At church this past week they put John 3:16 up on the screen and it just hit me. That verse is SO powerful and growing up in a Christian environment, I guess I became immune to it or something.

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him."-John 3:16-17

One thing remains: His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me!!! Get that song.

Dear Jesus, 

Thanks.

{Summer Lovin'}

Dear Frozen Mini Reeses, we have a love-hate relationship. Right now, I hate you. Dear Barton Springs, your subzero water temperature makes laying out bearable but Apey doesn't like your "floaties" (fungi, algae) so we won't be back this summer. Dear Boot-campers, seeing you raise your hands during worship makes me cry. Dear Little Brothers, thanks for acting like you were embarrassed that I visited. I know you loved it. Dear Andrew Wommack, listening to you while working has made the hours quite meaningful. Dear Summer, I love you.

{My heart will burst at the thought of..}

1. My dad being healed. Oh how I wait for that blessed day that his body finally responds to the promise written in the Scripture. The promise that He has already paid the price. We are saved. "Saved" in the Bible comes from the Greek word sozo. Sozo means several things: cured, ensured salvation, get well, made well, recovered and restored. Restored is my favorite. I love the notion that He restores me daily. He restores me mentally, physically and emotionally. He has restored everyone of us when He died for us...by His stripes we are healed- Isaiah 53:5. 
2. Having my own home. I get butterflies when I think about the tiny house that I so want in the future! It will be warm and cozy and clean. There will always be pillows and blankets in the living room so I can lay on the floor with loved ones and talk about life as we know it. There will be candles to make me feel like I am walking into a perfectly lovely store. I want a tin roof to fall asleep under with the rain pitter-pattering like a noise machine app on my phone. I want a rap-around porch with rocking chairs that I can sit and rock away the years with family. I want a yard with a swing on the tree so I can watch the world while swaying with the wind. I want flowers because there really isn't any better smell than freshly planted flowers in mulch. I want lots of crazy mugs that show how many places I've traveled and drank delicious chai and (hopefully) coffee. I want my bathroom mirrors to be covered in verses and Truths. I want mason jars and twinkle lights all over. I want a crafty room for the kiddies with chalkboard walls. I just can't wait for a home. 
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zero's - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo
3. Europe in the winter! OH I cannot wait till I get to Europe and teach the little ones and travel and all things good. I have a feeling I will want to stay. Can't wait to pretend I'm really artsy fartsy. 
4. Becoming a teacher. I can't wait to love my students. I can't wait to know all of their names and little of what makes them up. I can't wait to write down silly quotes and take silly pictures of crumbs on their face or their shirts inside out. I can't wait to welcome them with a hug every morning and push them out of my class in the afternoon :)

I sometimes get so happy thinking about the future and what is to come! Joy joy joy joy down in my heart, YAY! 

I love the here and now. But as Anne Shirley says: tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. 

sista sista.

Dear Lauren,
I'm finally doing a post about you. I know that it has bothered you that I haven't haha. I just have so much, too much to say about you. I don't even know where to start! Here goes....

Laur, there are many things I love about you but the first that comes to my mind right now is the knowledge that you will always be there for me. What a comforting thought! When I visualize my life I see a few people standing next to me as the scenes change behind us. Jesus, my family, Apey, and you. I don't know if I've ever really developed that thought till now but I really do see that in my mind all the time! It's a combination of two things: 1. you are an amazing friend and 2. I never want to lose you. I will expand on point 1. You always listen to me, whether I'm sad or happy or mad or scared or worried or stressed. I find so much comfort when I think that I know I can always come to you and talk. And I do always come to you. I love that you are so wise. Whenever I talk to you about things, I know I'll get a good response. I love that sometimes those good responses aren't what I always wanna hear, and even though I may react badly to that, I love that you care enough to tell me I'm being ridiculous. I love that when I found out about my dad, you held me while I cried. I love that every time I am sad, I can be completely broken with you and not have to think about judgement. I really really love when I can be there for you when you are sad, I love it when you walk in my room after a hard day and crumple onto my bed and I scratch your back. I love how you love your family. I love how you genuinely care about everyone's life. I love how you ask a million questions to people when you first meet them! You make me laugh. I love to laugh with you. We both love the same things: coke, nail polish, reading (teen books), sci fi, mushy gushy movies, foooooooood, sunshine, etc etc etc. I love that you are so intentional. I love that you are bible study/discipleship chair, I'm so proud of you!! I'm so proud of who you are and how much you've grown since 6th grade. You are such an amazing woman. You are so loyal and caring. You are so selfless to help me with Tshirts every time. You are so understanding! I love that we are both non-confrontational but we can confront each other ;) I love that we can talk about what we struggle with and it's usually the same thing.

Your friendship means so much to me my precious sister. One of my favorite things is hearing songs or seeing movies or reading quotes that remind me of our friendship. The best thing about us is that we have been friends for a decade :) I cannot wait to graduate and teach together. I can't wait to have little play-dates with our kiddies! I am constantly reminded of the verse in Philippians 1:3 when Paul says, "Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God." That's how I feel about you Laur. I am so thankful for you. For who you are. For your selfless friendship. For your example.

I can't even imagine how much He loves you, so lavishly, wildly and immensely!

I love you more than I can explain, my best friend.

Mountainview Mustang.

Today was my last day as a Teaching Associate at Mountainview Elementary!!!!! Really bittersweet. I have been awaiting this day pretty much all year but now that it has arrived, I'm so sad!

Reasons I don't want to go:

1. I love the girls that I taught with. Our 3rd grade little team has been such a blessing to my year. Erin, Jessica and Kelsey have blessed me beyond what they could ever know. Seeing each of their face at 7:15 every morning, doing life together, sharing stories and laughs, and just being a team. I loved it. I am going to miss them so much next year as I'm interning at a different school.

I will share one story I love to tell: A month or so ago, I was having a really rough week. I felt like I was drowning, being forced down beneath the raging waters with the reality of situations and even lies that I was believing. I was feeling useless, not good enough, selfish, stupid, emotional and just downright depressed. I remember coming to the point in my prayers where I cried out saying, "Lord I just really need encouragement today. I need joy and happiness that comes from you. I need encouragement because I feel so utterly discouraged." So I go to school like every other day and had a mediocre lesson. My little team could tell I was upset and as I was leaving Mountainview to go back to Baylor, Erin handed me a card. When I got into my car, I read it and started bawling! Erin was so unbelievably encouraging and my heart felt so full!! It could not have come at a better time, thank you Jesus!!! Erin even said that she had the card for a while :) PTL that He has perfect timing. PTL that He blessed me so much with 3 amazing girls to work with and love!!!!!

2. I love my students. I loved seeing their sweet, shining and sometimes obnoxious little selves every morning! My favorite was Jami. Yes I know I shouldn't have favorites but I just can't help it. She was HYSTERICAL. She wore a parka when it was 80 degrees! AND she was such a Belieber. She wore a Justin Bieber shirt every day. Don't worry that they were "hand-crafted." She also looked like the little chunker from Up, except a girl hehe :)

this little gem is Jami. #1 fan!!

Another story: today one of my students said to me that she "had to tell me something right away."
Me-"Yes, Angelina?"
A- "I have to say that I've always thought of you as an older sister."
AW. I just about teared up, what a sweetheart. See, those moments are the moments in teaching that I live for. The moments I know I was called to do this. Because that's what teaching is all about for me, that's why I'm going to do this energy consuming, majorly underpaid job. I really believe that this is my calling. I can't wait to be the teacher that really affects her students. I can't wait for the parents of my students to think, "Hey there is something different about her. She has something I want." GOD!! JESUS!! THE HOLY SPIRIT!! Ah! I can't wait!!!! I just want to love my students. Bah I can't believe He loves me so much.


So basically to sum up this post, I just can't wait to teach my own students. I have said this before and I'm sayin it again! Not many people get to have true joy when doing their job, and I'm so thankful that I am called to something that compliments my gifts and my interests! I love kids and I cannot wait to teach 20 some odd little ones :)

Before our last day of class! We played Math Kickball :)

Hugs for me!

My favorite girlies!

P.S- I love being called Miss Caldwell.

He gives me strength.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

warning sign.

i have two favorite bands. mumford & sons and coldplay. 

coldplay was the first cd i ever bought and i never get sick of them.

this post goes out to my bestie anna. driving around d-town listening to this song last night brought me happiness.

i love that feeling. full.

 music does bring me happiness. so do my best friends.
do me a favor and listen to this song.

i miss you ans, loves ya!

oh holy night.

my favorite christmas song of all time is "oh holy night."

right now i have 10 different versions in line on grooveshark.

i love it!

but really. think about the lyrics. i wish we sung this in church all year. 

long lay the world, in sin and error pining

till He appeared and the soul felt it's worth.

a thrill of hope, a weary world rejoices,

for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

sheesh. want a little background?

placide cappeau, what an author. in 1847 a priest asked him to write a poem for christmas. he did and wrote a beautiful hymn. he asked his friend adolphe adams to compose music to go along with the words. oh p.s, it was first written in french :)

the rest of the words in the song are so beautiful as well. but i love the lyric "long lay the world, in sin and error pining till He appeared and the soul felt it's worth." 
we don't deserve His perfection. His mercy. His love.


merry christmas everyone!!

You alone can rescue.

lately i've been struggling with some questions. formed out of lies and hurt. the biggest question i've had the past few days is this: how am i suppose to have faith that the Lord will give me peace right now when the end result is heartbreaking? how am i supposed to be okay today knowing the future that is coming?

i've been wrestling and wrestling. wishing i had answers. all i know is that i can't do this without Him. living these past few days feeling out of fellowship with the Lord has been horrible. literally. every part of me is ill. i'm physically sick, mentally tired, emotionally exhausted, and spiritually aching. this time out of the Lord's fellowship has made me realize that i don't have to have the answers because i literally don't know them. i'm not going to focus on those unanswered questions. i just need Him to hold me. i need to know that someone is with me. someone is with me through this overwhelming sadness. 

david talks a lot about feeling as if he is in the "depths of despair." 

^{Psalm 30}

¹ I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me.

      You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.

 ² O Lord my God, I cried to you for help,

      and you restored my health.

 ³ You brought me up from the grave, O Lord.

      You kept me from falling into the pit of death.

He alone can rescue me. He did rescue me out of this pit. i sing this anthem today because He is the giver of life. He saves me.

Who, oh Lord, could save themselves, 

Their own soul could heal? 

Our shame was deeper than the sea 

Your grace is deeper still 

Who, oh Lord, could save themselves, 

Their own soul could heal? 

Our shame was deeper than the sea 

Your grace is deeper still 

You alone can rescue, You alone can save 

You alone can lift us from the grave 

You came down to find us, led us out of death 

To You alone belongs the highest praise 

You, oh Lord, have made a way 

The great divide You heal 

For when our hearts were far away 

Your love went further still 

Yes, your love goes further still 

You alone can rescue, You alone can save 

You alone can lift us from the grave 

You came down to find us, led us out of death 

To You alone belongs the highest praise 

To You alone belongs the highest praise

To You alone belongs the highest praise

You alone

when in need.

I doubt, He delivers. God provides.

Can I get an Amen?

joy in pain.

If I could, I would take this wheelchair to heaven with me.  Standing next to my Savior, Jesus Christ, I would say, “Lord, do you see this wheelchair?  Well, before you send it to hell, I want to tell you something about it.  You were right when you said that in this world we would have trouble.  There’s a lot of trouble being a quadriplegic.  But you know what?  The weaker I was in that thing, the harder I leaned on you, and the harder I leaned on you, the stronger I discovered you to be.  Thank you for the bruising blessing it was, this severe mercy.  Thank you.” - Joni Eareckson

Wow. What if we all viewed suffering as a sovereign thing? Whether it is physical, emotional or relational. What if we viewed every pain as a bruising blessing and a severe mercy? We realize that yes, pain is real. It hurts. But it's only temporary. Something glorious is in the future.

A lot of times we find ourselves wrestling with the fact that we are going through a painful circumstance, saying "this isn't fair. why me?" When we SHOULD realize that pain is the one thing that the whole world has in common. Suffering is the only thingevery human being has in common. Not everyone gets joy, but everyone gets pain.

In James chapter 1, he talks about considering it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds because we know that the testing of our faith develops perseverance. This verse comes across like James is saying be happy that you are going through trials so that you can go  through more! But really it's kind of like when we were "conditioned" in school. When we were younger, the alphabet seemed like torture to have to write out all TWENTY SIX letters haha. But now that's a piece of cake and we can take on 10 page papers!

What James is saying is that the reason we should be joyful in times of suffering is because we know that something greater lies ahead. That we can rage against the pain because it wasn't always like this. And it won't always be like this. There is life in the future. JOY beyond expression in Christ.

If I can walk through the pain that I'm experiencing, correctly, it will change me into something else better. And isn't that worth it? Pain makes me deal with God. Not just deal with him, but love him.

open happiness.

Most people know that I have a love for Coke. More like an obsession, really. I love literally everything about it. I mean everything. From the red background and white cursive letters, to the "joy" commercials, right down to the delectable taste. Coke, to me, isn't just a caffeine fix, it's a LIFESTYLE. Seriously. I could be having a miserable day and if someone brought me a fountain Coke I would immediately feel better. And if you're thinking, "wow, she has replaced Jesus with Coke," please read previous posts and you will see this is obviously not true. No other soda can compare to the sweet sugar rush you get when coca cola is drank. I will argue this point to no end. My absolute favorite Coca Cola commercial is the one where the dude with the terrible voice goes around his party and passes out cokes to all his "friends" singing "joyyyyy enough to go roundddd!" Ah, I love it. So real. So joyful.

Well now you know my obsession. I recently gave up soda for lent and my friends can attest to how hard it was for me not to have my beloved. It was a good break but I'm back on the drank and I have no regrets. If you ever want to go to happy hour at sonic, it's my favorite pastime so hit me up! Shout out to Bo and our love for our sodas. Peace and Blessins.